San Diego county is an amazing place to live. There are the beach communities, those by Balboa Park and our Zoo, North County, inland and coastal, up to Camp Pendleton, and out to East County that stretches out to Julian and beyond. And all the way down to the border with Mexico. It’s very spread out with lots of communities all over the place and not the best public transportation. It can be hard to find a therapist in San Diego that is relatively close to you or feels like they will be good for you and your needs. Maybe you found one in San Diego and they seemed okay. You like that they got back in touch with you but you’re not sure if you want to actually meet with them. They say they’ll talk with you for a free 15-minute consultation to see if this is the person you can share your stuff with who can help you feels better, but you aren’t sure what questions to ask them.
Here’s some questions that I would encourage someone to ask when they are looking for a therapist:
WILL YOU GET ME?
What is your experience in working with people like me?
While not every therapist will have experience in working with every population or on every issue someone might bring up, it is important to have some sense of the psychologist’s experience in talking about issues facing first generation college students if that’s what you are coming into the therapist’s office to talk about. We want people to feel like all of them and their stuff are welcomed into therapy. Not every therapist is comfortable with every situation and we would want you to make sure that your therapist is supportive and experienced in working with your needs.
How do you feel about people who are (for example, poly)?
Maybe you want to talk about your polycule and are worried that your new counselor will judge you for not being monogamous. It would be important, then, to find a therapist who will honor your polyamorous relationship(s).
About how many letters, if any, have you written for your clients?What kinds of letters do you write?
If you are looking to a therapist to help you write a letter in support of getting accommodations for college, you might want to ask about this during your free consultation with your potential counselor.
What are your policies around writing letters on behalf of your trans identified clients? Have you written any letters on behalf of your clients? If you haven’t, why not? What stops you? What’s the average number of sessions you would need to see me (or my partner, my spouse, my grandparent, my kiddo, et al.) for you to write a letter for hormones (or surgeries etc.)? What changes the length of time that you would need to see someone to write them a letter?
For many people who are trans identified or looking to explore their gender identity(ies), you want to find a therapist who is knowledgeable about writing letters to help their clients ease through medical transition. Some therapists will write a letter for hormones within the first session (that’s usually the time we need to write that letter) whereas others will have their clients wait for several sessions (this isn’t standard so you’d want to know before you meet, if this is the therapist’s way of doing things). We want you to find out this information before you meet with a therapist so you aren’t stuck seeing them for eons when you could have found someone who would have provided you with a letter a lot sooner.
PRIVACY AND SAFETY
How do you protect my confidentiality?
Confidentiality is super important. We want you to have a therapist who will do their best to protect your information. For instance, we don’t bill insurance, but we tell our clients that we will not send emails with Protected Health Information (PHI) in them, unless the emails are encrypted (we use Hushmail) or if the client knows the risk of their information being interrupted and seen by an outside source and signs a form documenting that they are okay with the risk. (We don’t encourage this form, but it does exist if a client requests it.) We also use a phone system (called Spruce) which provides a confidential voicemail box in which to leave messages. This phone system also has an encrypted app for their phone so that clients and therapists can send messages back and forth with confidence that their information is secured.
IN SESSION
How do you work? What does a session look like?
The first session or 3 looks different than the other sessions in ongoing therapy. These first sessions are all about getting to know you. We know we can’t know everything about you in detail but we can get to know more about how you grew up, who is important in your life, your cultural identities (including religion(s), spirituality, gender identity(ies), sexual orientation(s), pronouns that make you happy, a bit about your employment, socioeconomic, and/or schooling history/herstory/theirstory, physical ailments or dis/abilities, why you are coming in, and any rough patches in your life.) Dr. Camilla Williams is more likely to ask direct questions in these first sessions. In ongoing therapy, she usually continues with what you are working on or other topics if things pop up as she and her clients go along.
Do you give homework?
Dr. Camilla Williams is one of those therapists who doesn’t give homework. Instead, she works with the client to figure out what kind of work the client will do in between sessions (for example: She might have a client who is a music lover work to create a music playlist to help explore emotions, if applicable for a client’s particular needs.)
Dr. Abigail Weissman is similar. She and her client(s) co-create homework at the end of each session, during the part of the session where she and her client(s), co-create the note to go in the client(s)’ file documenting the current session. She finds that co-creating the note with the client helps solidify what was most important to the client and what they will do in the week in between the session to work towards their goals.
How often do you often see clients (weekly, every other week, twice a week, monthly etc.)?
If you are looking to see a counselor only once a month, it’s vital to check with the counselor and see if what you want, matches their best work. It helps to know before you start meeting if the therapist’s expectations about how often you need to have an appointment lines up with your wishes and needs.
Dr. Abigail Weissman finds that at least once per week sessions tend to work the best for the most healing. At times, she will recommend that a client come in multiple times a week, depending on their situation. As the client begins to feel better and better and is meeting all of their goals, Dr. Abigail Weissman will work with the client to begin to taper off treatment until treatment is ended. Previous clients are welcome to contact Dr. Abigail Weissman to resume treatment at a later time should other issues arise. Dr. Camilla Williams appears to have more flexibility in scheduling. She will work with clients to find the best course of treatment, be that weekly or otherwise.
MONEY AND INSURANCE
What methods of payment do you accept?
The provider will then share if they take cash only or checks or credit cards. Not all therapists take any of these methods so it’s good to know how you pay for therapy with that provider. We at Waves accept check, cash, and credit cards. We require a working credit card on file.
Do you take insurance?
We encourage potential clients who plan on using insurance, to know what your benefits are and have called to check in with their insurance company for information about your specific plan. This way, when you speak to the provider, you’ll be able to know what your insurance network is, if you have any out of network benefits for mental or behavioral health appointments, and if you have a deductible that you need to pay before you receive any benefit from your plan. If you want to use insurance, we’d encourage you to say what insurance benefits you have and ask the provider, “Are you in network with any panels?,” and if they say that they are not, asking, “Will you submit the claims for me?” or require you to do so.
If the provider says that they are in network with a particular panel, we’d encourage a follow up question or two, such as, “Are you planning on leaving the panels anytime soon?” and if they are not in network with that panel now, asking “Are you in the process of adding any panels soon?” If they are not in network, and you still want to submit a receipt to your insurance company, please ask if they are willing submit paperwork to the insurance companies so that clients can use their insurance. This is a newer requirement that some more seasoned clinicians don’t know is a thing that they need to do even if they are not in network with any insurance panels.
TELE MENTAL (or tele mental or tele-mental) HEALTH
Do you do provide telemental health sessions? Or phone sessions?
Again, if you don’t want to deal with traffic and parking or have limited access to a car or you live within the state of your provider’s license but are not close by enough to get there, tele mental health care might be a fabulous option for you!
We offer tele mental health care sessions as an option for some clients who work with Dr. Abigail Weissman. She has some screening questions to ask before she will work with a client virtually to make sure that it is a good option for all involved. If clients are ill, she encourages a video tele mental health session or a phone session so that they work can continue with a bit more comfort for the client and less chance of spreading the germs around to the therapist. Dr. Camilla Williams does not employ video tele mental health sessions. She prefers to meet in person with clients.
Follow up questions to ask about tele mental health include:
What system do you use to do video tele mental health calls?
You are looking here for a provider who knows that encrypted video calls are the way to go for your safety.
What experience or education do you have in providing tele mental health?
There are courses available to those providing this kind of care. You want to know that your therapist is aware of the regulations around tele mental healthcare. These regulations can be statewide and might be different depending on type of license.
ACCESSIBILITY
How accessible are you to my needs?
We would want you to know if your counselor can meet your needs and your wants. When Dr. Abigail Weissman moved to San Diego, she was so surprised that many clinicians do not list if they have stairs up to their office or if they have an elevator.
Here are some questions that could help clarify if you want to know if you will be able to breathe in your clinician’s office or be able to get into the office in the first place:
What is your scent policy?
At Waves, we are a scent minimal space. We ask people to leave their perfumes and body sprays at home so that the counselors and fellow waiting room patrons can breathe.
Is there an elevator? Can I fit my wheelchair through your door? Are animals allowed in your space? Is there a sign up saying that you are LGBT-affirming? What is parking like in the area? Are you close to any bus lines or trolley stops? Sometimes the therapist’s webpage will answer these questions. If not, I’d encourage asking as they pertain to your needs. At Waves, We have a whole section on accessibility on our web site. Here’s the link.
Do you have an all gender bathroom?
We at Waves, have one at our Banker’s Hill office but not up in our Rancho Bernardo space. Sometimes, people who identify as trans, having an all gender / non gender bathroom can be of the utmost importance so we encourage asking about bathroom availability and choice depending on your needs.
How will you support my need to not have direct eye contact or sensitivity to florescent lights?
At Waves, Dr. Abigail Weissman talks with clients in the first session about ways that she can change around the room to support clients with sensitivity to light and sound and closeness of the chairs/furniture and direct eye contact.
These are the questions I encourage people to ask to their potential therapist. You get to decide, of course, which questions are most important to you, and then, ask those. If you love furry doggies, then you might be super jazzed to find out that dogs are allowed in the space but if you are super allergic to doggies, this might pose a problem. (At Waves, we do not allow pets due to allergies, unless it is a service animal and then, please let us know; we are happy to figure out a way to support you and your needs.)
These questions are meant as things to think about as you look to find a therapist that can meet your needs and help you change your life for the better.
We hope this information helps you find the right therapist for you in San Diego, California. If you are still feeling stuck, feel free to call us at 619-403-5578 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. We’d be happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to the right person. If you are looking for trans and queer centered mental health care you can read more about how we can help here.
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